Later, Zach was asked whether he got any flak from his friends for his actions. When asked about his motivations, he said that “I just felt that no-one needs to be sitting at lunch alone, especially when it’s tough for him to make friends, being a freshman and everything.” Note that Zach attributes Graham’s difficulties to his situation – being new in school – rather than an innate quality of Graham’s, such as Asperger’s. The only person among them who seemed to have a clue was Zach. Any ordinary kid talking to Graham would not have elicited exclamations of “Big sports star!” and “Big man on campus!” as though these somehow gave the situation more intrinsic meaning. However, the message that came across was that it was the celebrity itself that made the difference. I can certainly understand Melissa’s surprise to learn that a school celebrity had spent some time with Graham other than to bully him, and I suspect she does not believe that Zach’s status is the aspect of the friendship that affected Graham. Off camera comments at this point were “Big sports star!” and “Big man on campus!” to which Melissa replies, “Exactly! I was very surprised,” and then goes on to describe the life-changing effect the friendship has had on Graham. “Graham came home that day and said ‘guess who I had lunch with today’ and I said ‘Who?’ He said ‘Zach Hirsch’ and I’m like, REALLY?” When asked how the friendship had affected her son, she told the story of their first meeting. In her words, “It took time and patience, as well as a genuine concern for someone else for Zach to approach Graham that day in the cafeteria.” I’ll acknowledge genuine concern, but time and patience? She’s making it sound like this was a hardship for Zach, as though “poor Graham” is some kind of charity project.Įven Graham’s mom Melissa got caught up in the cult-of-celebrity narrative. The problems start with the entry submitted by Zach’s mom Nancy and go downhill from there. I have a particular take on this that I haven’t seen in any of the other commentary but I need to frame it with the relevant points from the segment first. Thanks to Landon at ThAutcast whose post was my first exposure to this debacle. Zach’s mom wrote this story up and submitted it to the Today Show as a candidate for Everyone Has a Story. Eventually Graham’s mom told Zach’s mom that the friendship was a life-changing event for Graham. The Today Show ran a segment of Everyone Has a Story describing how a popular high school star athlete (Zach) befriended an Aspie freshman kid (Graham) sitting at an otherwise empty table in a crowded school cafeteria. Sorry to dredge up something from last year, but dissecting this cadaver in the name of science will do much to advance our understanding of mental illness and how it relates to autism. Trigger warning: ableism, bigotry, bullying, callous disregard for others, dehumanization, forced isolation